Lessons from the Battlefield

Lessons from the Battlefield this Week – Read and Learn.

1) Be wary of talking to a guy who sits at the bar the whole three hours you are there. It’s entirely possible that you will talk all night, do lots of shots, make out, then get up and leave to go to the next bar – and find out he is 5’5”.

2) Men in their 30s can still have 5 minute sex. And I’m talking in the bed, not an airplane bathroom. I’d still like someone to explain this to me, please, because I am pretty sure this was supposed to end somewhere around 19.

3) Doing sketchy things in sketchy places is even more fun than you think it’s going to be. I’m just saying. Do it. Life is too short for inhibitions.

4) Be careful when Google stalking someone who you met a few shots in. You may become convinced that you found him, get thoroughly freaked out when you think he is a wannabe vampire…and 2 days later, discover that you have Google stalked the wrong person entirely.

5) Run, do not walk, away from a man who sees that you have a Brazilian and asks you “why you do that.” It’s not a good sign of what’s to come.

6) Your doorman will probably not respect you in the morning.