today's lesson: the golden rule

Step by step instructions on how to be a big asshole:

1) Decide to break it off with Pseudo Boyfriend because you are bored, the sex is bad, and he is talking about wanting to be married - not necessarily to you, but married - next year, which totally freaks you out.

2) Passive aggressively stop texting him when you go away for a long weekend.

3) Find it a little curious that he isn't texting you either, but figure that you are involved in the fun dating came of Text Chicken - and he was the last to text so it probably is your turn.

4) Finally feel sort of bad, give in, text him.

5) Find out that - actually - the reason he hasn't been texting you is not due to Text Chicken, but is because his body went into shock 12 hours after he last messaged you, and he's been in the hospital for the last 4 days.

I mean - wow. Doesn't change the ultimate situation, we are not compatible, but this one did make me feel like a big jerk. Nice guys don't deserve to be alone in the hospital for four days and simultaneously suddenly ditched by their pseudo girlfriend.

Lesson learned: don't forget the golden rule, even if you're bored and the sex is shitty. It's just not cool.