Too close for comfort?

I'm not quite sure what I've signed up for, but I have a feeling that this might not go so well...

I received a text last night from The Student telling me that he'll be in New York at the end of July, and asked if he might stay a couple of nights at my apartment. (I can't blame him for asking- I did repeatedly offer my air mattress through my drunkenness the night we hooked up.)

Me being the weakling that I am, I told him that he could stay for two nights and only at the beginning of that week, as I will be quite busy toward the end of the week. Whether or not he decides to definitely stay remains to be determined, but I think we all know that he won't actually be using that air mattress.

It's been over two years since I've had a boyfriend and spent extended amounts of time with a man, so I'm not too sure what I think about being in such close quarters for two straight days.

Volleyball Guy

It took me about a week to think of a moniker for Volleyball Guy so that I could write about him. And really, I don't know that Volleyball Guy is even the right one to have decided upon. It was either that or 'Natural Gas Analyst', since that's what he does for a living, but to be honest, this guy was so nondescript that I just found myself fumbling to come up with something good to call him. So we'll just use the name that he chose for himself on his Match.com account.

VG was an okay looking guy in his Match pictures, and he was super nice in his emails. (I really need to always remember Heidi's advice for me and stop being drawn to the 'nice' guys. Nice = boring.) We met on Tuesday night in Union Square, and the moment we met I could tell that this was not going to go very far. His khakis were just a size too big, but he had belted them quite nicely, so that he had that illusion of having a FUPA, and he looked like a really unfortunate combination of Jewish and Italian. And to have sealed the deal on my becoming immediately disinterested, he spewed sarcasm from the moment that we said hello.

He also ended up not having a plan of action for once we met up (such a date foul), so I ended up leading us to a wine bar that I knew semi-nearby. I tried to order just a glass of wine, but he insisted on a bottle. $70 and 2 rounds each later, I snuck into the bathroom to text Heidi to escape, while I let him pay the bill. Hey, I didn't want a bottle to begin with, so I felt little to no guilt for that one.

I ended up ditching out early, offered some lame excuse when he asked to take me out again on Friday (I mean, who in New York really has to pick up a friend from the airport on a Friday night?? I don't even have a car. Hello, Diana, think quicker on your feet next time.), and headed out to meet friends.

On Friday, the dreaded follow-up text came: "Hey! I forgot I was going to dc to visit a friend late next week and weekend but would you like to get dinner with tues or wed? :)"

I dwelled on my next move for a good four-and-a-half hours before finally deciding to promote good karma and to do something that I'd never done before. Instead of just rejecting him with a rude silence, I texted him to let him know I wasn't feeling it: "Hey, thank you so much for thinking of me, I really appreciate it, but I didn't feel a chemistry the other night. I wish you the best of luck in meeting someone great though. :)"

I have to say it was much better of a move than having to dodge a couple more days of text messages, and hopefully he'll pass on that same respect to the next girl he isn't interested in. Because doesn't it just totally suck when the guy you were crushing on just doesn't answer?

The Student, via Facebook Flirtation

With The Student being the 3,000 miles away from New York for the Summer, we have had slim contact thus far. We did BBM back and forth for the last few days of his residency in the city before he flew back to LA for Summer Break, and I did wake up about a week ago to a BBM from him, which turned into an all day back-and-forth conversation.

Today, his Facebook status mentioned hanging with his family (who I know pretty well, seeing that we were all formerly neighbors) at the beach. In my champagne haze, I 'liked' it to incite a little bit of "well hey there, how YOU doin'" flirtation.

And upon his logging on hours later, I dorkily got giddy to see he'd 'liked' one of my Mobile Photo Uploads right back.

Oh, Technology, what have you turned us all into?

you can't make this shit up.

This is what was delivered along with my chicken parm sub for lunch today. Evidently I made quite the impression on the guy who answered the phone at Manhattan Pizza.

booty call.

nothing like waking up to 2 missed calls and a text, all from the 3 am hour. why hello Red.

is it wrong that my first thought was, "shit, I wish I'd been up"?

Irony. Not that they would get that.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a total stickler for grammar and spelling. I may or may not even have been the District Spelling Bee Runner-Up in both the 3rd and 4th Grades - and might have been the winner if not for "righteous" and "semaphore".

So - explain this: I have not had any sort of sexual relationship or chat with a man who speaks/texts/emails/IMs in proper English for months. If you looked at the text history on my phone, you'd think I was dating 15 year old high school dropouts.

Punctuation? They're not interested. Spellcheck? What is that? The difference between your and you're? Get real.

Clearly that's how I like it, so it's my issue. And one that I need to figure out, since I really couldn't get serious with someone who doesn't know when to use "its" vs. "it's". But I'm seeing some irony here. And wondering if any of them know what that word means.

Delaware: Mystery Solved.

Heidi and I ran into Delaware last night, and in the middle of our tequila-induced dance fest, Heidi leaned in and asked Delaware what the deal is with his inability to touch me. In 2.5 seconds, he spilled to her that he had just gotten out of a 7 year relationship. Something he couldn't manage to communicate to me in 2.5 months.

I think I would've been less annoyed with him if he really was a virgin.

Meet: The Greek.

Meet: The Greek. Explanation may or may not follow, but this is why I generally don't let boys Facebook friend me...I made an exception,and this is what I get.

has it come to this?

Online dating is endlessly amusing. Truly. Most of the guys are weirdos, but that's pretty much like real life, if you ask me. But the "wink" I just got on Match...took it too far. I thought it was a mug shot, but I guess that's just his blinds. Either way, this one was too precious not to share. Meet my new boyfriend.

Run in with Big Red

Friday night, the girls and I headed downtown to a bar that none of us had ever been to before to attend one of Heidi's friend's birthday party. We were there for no more than 60 seconds, when I queued up to the bar to order a drink, and I do the swift little room-check for cute guys, and I do a double take at a tall, red-haired man to my right. Shit, a guy I'd met on Match.com.

He totally saw me double-take, so I turn toward him and do the polite, "Hello, how are you? Diana, remember? We went out a few months back." Introductions of our friends ensued, and then a nice, "Alright, well nice seeing you," from my side.

I turn back to the bar, where Muffy and Heidi are eyeing me suspiciously, wondering how I already intro'ed myself to a stranger at a bar in 5 seconds flat, when I whisper, "That was Big Red. You know, the one that bored me to death on our date back in January or February." At which point, I do a sly little glance his way, just in time to see his 6'5'' red-haired frame ducking out of that bar as fast as he could.

If he bored me on our date months back, I must've really freaked him out to make him want to flee, regardless of how full his cocktail still was.